Just To See You
by darkmeadow777
Summary: Chap.14up!Blinded, branded traitor and abandoned by the Dark Side, Draco is taken in by a muggle hospital where Harry happens to volunteer.Voldemort and his followers have vanished into thin air.Is the Dark Side gone for good?Harry continues...Slash!HD
1. Chapter 1: Prologue: The Vial

Just to See You

Summary: Blinded, branded traitor and abandoned by the Dark Side, Draco is taken in by a muggle hospital where Harry happens to volunteer. Voldemort and his followers have vanished into thin air. Is the Dark Side gone for good? Harry continues his quest for the remaining Horcuxes, while teaching Draco how to live again.

Chapter one: Prologue: The Vial

The hidden valley was shrouded in darkness so thick it looked solid. In the deepest, darkest part of the valley, an old mansion stood. A light flickered on in the highest room and showed the silhouette of a tall, skinny man. He turned around and as he heard a knock on the door.

"Severus," Voldemort called. When Severus had kissed the hem of his robe, he asked, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes, My Lord." Severus's voice had hesitation in it. Voldemort waited. "I've never seen a potion this difficult, this impossible. This potion was written more than a thousand years ago. Half of the ingredients are...extinct. Where will we find the horn of a Minotaur? Among others."

"Nothing is impossible to Lord Voldemort. How long will it take?" Voldemort asked, knowing he would not like the answer, but that it could also work in his favor.

"Well...If you count the time needed to find all the ingredients, the brewing, stewing, and settling, and getting the ritual completed...at least a year and a half...it's clearly not practical! Even the ritual is highly complex, one tiny mistake and the entire thing is useless!" Severus said, handing directions to Voldemort.

Voldemort glanced at the list. This would indeed take at least a year and a half to make, and then add in who he needed for it, it would take almost two years. He knew The Order was looking for him, but they would never find the valley, let alone the mansion or himself. With Dumbledore gone, many doors had been flung open in favor of the Dark Lord. Recently Voldemort had been suffering losses at the hands of The Order. The Order was far too informed of his plans. He had an unworthy follower. A spy. He would be stopped. Not only stopped, he would be destroyed, completely, utterly. Imprisoned within himself.

"You will not make a mistake." A death sentence was written in Voldemort's blood red eyes.

"My lord, who will be your...donor?" Severus asked with a hint of fear. He knew what the ritual entailed and inwardly shuddered at the thought of being in that position.

"Do not ask me questions, Severus. I have him picked. He's the only one with enough powerful innate magic to be worthy of this honor. Now, did you make the other potion I asked for?" Voldemort asked.

"Yes, My Lord," Severus handed Voldemort a vial of black liquid. It seemed to bend the light, as though absorbing it. He knew better than to ask whom Voldemort would use it on. He did not envy them. He prayed it would not be him.

Voldemort gazed at the vial for a moment. "This will blind him forever, yes? With no chance of regaining his sight?"

"Yes, My Lord" Severus replied, confident.

"Good, I want to you watch young Master Malfoy and tell me when he is asleep. But first, invite him for tea and put a sleeping potion in it."

Severus nodded and turned toward door to do the Dark Lord's bidding.

"I am not done with you yet, Severus." Voldemort snapped. "Let me see your arm. We're going on a little trip tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2: The Patient

Chapter Two: The Patient

Harry Potter was dreaming. It was a good dream; he did not want to wake because he knew he would not remember in the morning. The dream ended as Harry drifted into consciousness. He opened one bleary eye and squinted at the clock. 5: 59 am. He barely waited until the music alarm came on. Sitting beside the alarm clock, stood a small, blackened cup, with finely wrought handles and engraved with a badger. A heavy golden locket, engraved with an ornate "S" sat next to the cup. A second gold locket sat next to it. An old relic that belonged to one of the four founders was tucked behind the cup.

Two dark and difficult years had passed since Harry left Hogwarts. The tasks to recover the Horcruxes had taken a toll on Harry, but he was far more determined to find the final two. Nagini and Voldemort. Harry was now far from the boy who had left Hogwarts years before, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Harry got up and opened his wardrobe door. He studied his reflection in the mirror. His unruly black locks framed his well defined cheek bones and strong chin. His nose had become less pointed and more mature. His eyes were as green as ever, but held far more confidence, maturity…and pain. Harry flexed his strong, muscled features and long, thin fingers, and then stretched his long body, forcing himself to wake up properly. He had work to do.

Hermione had been pestering Harry to do something more with his time -other than pouring over a map of possible Voldemort hideouts all day. He kept the map hidden in his pocket and would only take it out if Hermione was not present. Finally, almost two months had passed and Harry was quite thankful for Hermione's idea. He had been hitting dead ends everywhere in his search, so he decided to volunteer at a local muggle hospital recovery room. He met Hermione on the way out of the apartment building.

"Hi," Harry said, softly.

"Are you still sulking! Harry you can't do anything! No one has seen hide nor hair of Voldemort for almost…a month! We have people everywhere; there have been no funny deaths, attacks, or disappearances for a month! We don't even know where all the bloody Death Eaters are!" Hermione said, exasperated. "At least you're helping people...even if you can't save the world, right at this moment. We'll find them Harry, it's only a matter of time."

"I know, but it's so…frustrating knowing that I have two left and can't even begin to find them!"

Hermione had the grace to look like she cared. How many times did they have this conversation? "Alright, alright, I know this is frustrating, but you really can't do anymore than to study your magic, practise and…take breaks by helping where you can… Now go!" She ordered, pushing Harry out the door and on to the street.

Harry walked into a large white building and headed for the elevators. He pushed the 3rd floor button and waited. When he got out the elevator, the secretary, a plump, kindly looking woman, greeted him. "Hello, dear. We are so grateful to have your help; you are so gifted when it comes to helping people! More people smile here because of you!"

"My pleasure, Sandra," said Harry, managing a smile. "What have we got today?"

"Well, you're not going to like this: Someone found an unconscious man in a park and brought him in. He looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks! He had festering wounds, like he was beaten! He won't tell us his name and we know he talk… at least when he's been awake! The mouth on that one! I didn't know half the things he said! It was a hate crime, we think." Sandra added, gravely.

"Hate crime? How so?" asked Harry.

"He's blind! Can you imagine someone beating up a blind person! It's disgusting! He can't have been blind for that long… Anyway, since you're so good with people…and no one wants to go near him…we thought you could help him to the road of recovery!" Sandra smiled.

"Hm…nice of you. How long has he been here?" asked Harry.

"About…3 weeks. He was unconscious up until last night. We didn't want him waking everyone up, so we put him up in the private ward. He's tried to escape a couple times, but he keeps knocking into things and giving himself away. Bless his heart…." Sandra trailed off.

"…Right. Does he have a name?" asked Harry, taking a clip board.

"Yeah, John Doe!" scoffed Sandra, and then added, shyly, "You'll like him Harry, he's a dangerous but beautiful creature. Dragon like, in fact."

"Umm...sure," Harry didn't know what to say to this. Sandra reminded him of Luna Lovegood sometimes. "I'll try to get his name outta him. What room number?"

"777"

Harry turned back to the elevator and arrived in the private ward. When he found the right room, he paused. Harry knew something was going to change...


	3. Chapter 3: Reluctant Reunion

Just To See You

Chapter 3: Reluctant Reunion

Harry opened the door, peering into the softly lit room. He moved closer to the bed and examined the sleeping man. He had a pale, pointed face that seemed vaguely familiar. White-blond locks of hair fell gently onto his face. Harry was just about to put a hand on the man's shoulder to wake him up when the man's eyes flickered open. Harry gasped as recognition shot through him like a bullet and he wondered why he didn't recognize him before. Harry stood rooted on the spot, barely breathing. Harry seemed to be paralyzed by the flickering gaze.

"Hello?" asked the man, angrily. "Is there someone there, or not?" His unseeing eyes danced around the room. Then he seemed to pause, listening.

"Uh..." Harry did not know what to say. _Draco Malfoy is sitting in my hospital, blind! _"What happened to you?" Harry blurted.

Draco knew this man's voice it seemed slightly deeper, but he knew it just the same._ If this was a Death Eater, they would've killed me already_. "Who are you? What do you want?" He demanded, though fear crept into his voice.

"I...I'm here to help you," Harry replied, nervously. He ignored the first question.

"Yeah, well, I don't need your help!" Draco snapped.

"Uh, yeah, you do! You're blind, Malfoy!" The last word seemed to resonate through the room.

"Who are you! How do you know my name?" Draco yelled, fear evident in his voice. He had no way to protect himself.

"Uh..." Harry was unsure how Malfoy would take this. "Harry...Harry Potter..." he whispered.

Something in Malfoy's lean frame seemed to sink with the last whispered words. He closed his eyes and Harry realized how sickly Malfoy looked. There were the normal faint scars from their clash in the bathroom. He had large bags under his eyes and his lips were chapped. Draco opened his silver eyes, which were missing some of their luster; he looked in Harry's general direction.

"Get out."

Harry knew that being who he was put more stress on Malfoy then any other thing that happened. He turned to leave. At the door, Harry said, "All right, but you do need my help."

_

* * *

_

_"Get out." _

These words echoed in Harry's head. They were filled with sadness, rage and pain. They showed that Malfoy was indeed a man. A man that could feel, even though he hid it deep down. Harry wanted to help him_. But he's a Death Eater_, he argued with himself_. Maybe he knows where Voldemort is? Well, that's unlikely; it was probably the Death Eaters that beat him in the first place! Draco Malfoy is blind. There is no denying that. And he desperately needs help. But why do I want to give it to him? Well, I don't need a reason to help people. Why should there be a reason? Will he even accept my help?_ Harry decided to make that choice for Malfoy.

* * *

Harry returned to the hospital the next day, after deciding not to mention anything to Hermione or Ron. He knew they wouldn't take it as well as him not to mention that Ron would try cart Malfoy off to the authorities and Malfoy would need time to recover, to learn how to live again.

"Hey Sandra, how do you teach a blind person to live again?" Harry asked at the secretary's desk.

"Well, dear, you just do. It's like teaching a child. They all progress at different speeds. It really depends on if they want to... Are you thinking of teaching that man? It's a long, difficult journey for both of you," Sandra replied.

_I know all about long, difficult journeys and no one should have to do it alone._ "How do you even start something like that? What do you do first?" asked Harry.

"Well, why don't you...start by teaching him to eat again? Everyone has to do that eventually! He will when he's hungry enough! He's been refusing to eat the hospital food...can't say I blame him, though!" Sandra shivered at the memory.

Harry turned to leave the hospital. _Operation Live Again, commence..._

* * *

_Reviews are always good...Wink_

_DarkMeadow_


	4. Chapter 4: Teach Me To Live

Just To See You

Chapter Four: Teach Me To Live

By Darkmeadow777

**"Try to forgive, teach me to live **

**Give me the strength to try" -Sarah Brightman- **

Harry walked in Malfoy's room ready to not take any crap. He went straight to Malfoy's bed, pulled the table across his lap, and set a food tray down.

"I brought you some food," said Harry. "You must be starving."

"I'm not eating that shit," Draco made quite clearly. His unseeing eyes glared holes in Harry's waist. For a moment, his eyes were bright and recognizable as the Draco he knew before.

"Is it because you don't want to or can't?" Harry seemed to strike a nerve. _Perfect._

"I. Can't. See. It," Draco growled.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't notice," Harry said, sarcastically.

"Lucky you," Draco said softly. He pulled back into himself, and all his fight seemed to leave him. He looked down at his tray. Draco reacted exactly as Harry had planned.

Harry cheered to himself and silently took Draco's protesting hand and put a fork in it.

"Eat," Harry said, again. "I got you some real food. It's roast chicken and some vegetables."

"Why are you doing this?" Draco whispered to his knees. "I've done nothing to deserve this from you. You should be throwing this in my face!"

"Well, that would be just rude," Harry replied, avoiding the question. _Do I even have an answer?_ "Just eat it. I promise it's not poisoned."

"Well, unless I eat with my hands, it's not going to happen because I can't see anything to put on the fork. And a Malfoy does not eat with his hands," Malfoy declared, arrogantly.

_Ah, there's his 'Malfoy' attitude back full force_. Harry smirked. "Do you want me to feed you?" Harry asked, knowing the answer.

"No."

"Well, how will you eat then? I know you're hungry." Draco's stomach chose this moment to let out a loud growl. "Fine. I'm feeding you," Harry said, taking the fork from Draco and stabbing a small piece of chicken for him. "Here." He held the fork in front of Draco's mouth.

Draco smelt the chicken wafting in front of his nose. After a day of not eating anything, the chicken smelled amazing. He reluctantly opened his mouth. A small piece of chicken was placed in his mouth and he bit it off the fork. A small moan rumbled in this throat and he heard a small snicker above him.

"Shut up, Potter. Who made this anyway?" Draco asked after he finished chewing. This chicken tasted like heaven compared the "chicken" the hospital used.

"Me," Harry replied, stabbing another piece of chicken for Malfoy. "Here."

Draco opened his mouth again, gladly. His pride was about to protest with a scathing remark but his stomach wouldn't let him.

"I was thinking of taking you for a walk tomorrow. I daresay you wanna get outta this place for a bit. If you want to, of course..." Harry trailed off.

"Do I look like I need some fresh air? I haven't seen what I look like for a while." Draco replied dryly.

Harry paused and took in Malfoy's appearance. His face was almost too pale; the dark circles under his eyes seemed more pronounced from the day before. His lips were still chapped and peeling. Draco's eyes were once again dim and dull. Draco's usual slick hair now resembled Harry's own untameable style.

"Well, you could do with some color. You're really pale...even for you. You could do with a hair brush, as well," Harry said putting more chicken into Malfoy's waiting mouth.

Draco nearly choked at this statement. He prided himself with his hair, but he had a good excuse to look the way he did. He shrugged the statement off, realizing he really couldn't argue with that. "Yeah, I need a bath, too," Draco said, grudgingly.

Harry smiled. "I'm sure we can arrange that, too. Open. I can help you bathe after you're finished my delicious chicken."

"Wait. You're going to help me bathe?" Draco nearly choked again. His wide, silver eyes danced frantically in Harry's direction. Draco didn't seem to notice that his mouth was half open.

"Yes. Is that a problem? I'm sure the hospital would be kinda upset if I let you die from slipping and cracking your head open." Harry tried hard to keep the smile out of his voice. Draco's reaction was priceless. He had never seen the blonde look so undignified. Harry shoved a piece of chicken into Draco's half open mouth.

* * *

After Draco had finished the last bite of his meal, Harry asked, "So, hot bath?" 

Draco immediately turned bright red. Too embarrassed to say anything, he just nodded.

"Don't worry; I have lots of practise. Actually, I'm not really proud of that...for every good body: I've had about 20 nasty, old people. But I haven't killed anyone, so don't worry." Harry rambled. "Uh...I'll start the tub." Harry walked away.

When the bath was full, Harry reached for Malfoy's hand and led him off into the small bathroom. Harry shut the door behind them and waited a moment before asking, "Are you planning on bathing in your hospital gown?"

"No." Draco stood awkwardly, head bowed.

"The other nurses bathed you, right?"

"Yes." The word was said with the deepest contempt.

"So, it'll be the same."

"Yeah, but my...rival...is going to give me a bath. That's really awkward."

"Rival, eh?" Harry smiled. "That's not really the case, now is it? You're blind. I could take you really easily. I promise not to drown you; the hospital would get upset. _That_ would be awkward"

"Whatever," said Draco. "Turn around."

Harry raised his eyebrows. Malfoy wouldn't be able to know if he was turned around or not. Not to mention that Harry was also going to be washing him, so he would see everything anyway. Harry turned around. Harry heard some rustling and then a small, "'Kay."

Harry's first thought of Malfoy's body was it was pale and godlike. Lean, chiseled muscles were apparent even though Malfoy stood awkwardly, his head bowed. Draco was holding the gown in front of him. He looked like a Michelangelo sculpture. Then Harry saw the scars. Malfoy's entire body was covered in scars. Long, thin, deep, and short. They marred his creamy skin in the way the Mona Lisa would look if someone had written graffiti on it. It was like a tragedy. It was wrong. The Dark Mark stood out dark and grotesque on Malfoy's left forearm. Harry's guess had been confirmed. Then Harry realized that the mark did not move of its own accord_. Does that mean that the Death Eaters had tortured him? Had they disowned him?_ Harry decided to worry about the mark later. Harry could feel his hatred for the Death Eaters and their leader increase as he fought his bubbling rage down.

In Harry's mind, a conscious change happened: "Malfoy" was now "Draco". A man. Mortal. At this moment, Harry did not care that Draco was his rival; he wanted revenge for Draco. He would get it; it was only a matter of time. No one had the right to do this to another living human being. No one had the right to suffer in this way. No one had the right to feel that much pain. Harry fought his anger down with difficulty. He took some deep breaths, feeling himself calm down. . Deep down, Harry always knew that Draco was not evil. What he didn't know, was that Draco knew the same thing.

A/N: Next chapter Harry gives Draco a bath…need I say more? I need more reviews to continue this story, please!


	5. Chapter 5: Overload

Just To See You

Chapter 5: Overload

By Darkmeadow777

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn  
Is to love and be loved in return."  
From "Unforgettable with Love" by Natalie Cole

* * *

Harry took Draco's hand and led him to the edge of the bathtub. He took Draco's foot and told him to lift it while Harry would guide it in;Draco balanced himself on Harry's back. Once Draco was in, he sat down slowly, adjusting to the warm water.

"All right, I'm going to keep telling you where my hands are cuz people like to know. I'm going to start on top and work my way down. So, we need to get your hair wet. I'm going to dip you down and up, ok?" Harry said, in a professional tone.

Harry put one hand on the back of Draco's neck and one on his chest to guide him down into the water. Harry kept his hand on Draco's neck while the other slowly cupped water and poured it over Draco's head, careful not to get any water on his face. Draco's eyes were closed tightly and he was breathing determinedly out his nose. Harry took some shampoo and slowly massaged it into Draco's wet locks. Draco seemed to relax after a while. Harry noticed that Draco's hair, though badly needing the wash, was very soft and fine. He took more time than necessary -- loving the feel of Draco's silky hair between his fingers. He cupped his hands, slowly rinsing the shampoo and then repeated the process with the conditioner. All the while saying a commentary of what he was going to do. Harry guided Draco to sit up so he could start to wash his back. He hesitated a moment before picking up the body wash and pouring some onto a cloth. He lathered it up before confidently rubbing it onto Draco's neck and shoulders. Harry noticed Draco's shoulder muscles tense, and then realized he forgot his commentary.

"Sorry, I forgot to tell you where my hands were … " Harry drifted off. He kept his hands moving. Cleaning and massaging Draco's neck and shoulders until the blonde relaxed. Harry realized with a shock that he liked the feel of Draco's skin and muscles under his hands. Harry slowly rubbed Draco's shoulder blades, feeling the lean muscle underneath. Harry concentrated on the feel of Draco's skin. It was soft and creamy; however, there were the occasional bumps from the scars. Harry unthinkingly traced a long scar down and along Draco's back.

Draco tensed and waited for the question he was not going to answer. It never came. Draco felt the hands continue cleaning and massaging then he slightly relaxed. He had to admit that Harry had very skilled hands and it was all he could do to not lean into the touch or moan. Harry began to sink lower and lower, much lower than he would with a normal person. When Harry finished Draco's back, he reached for his arm. He slowly massaged soap on to Draco's bicep, tracing the solid muscle down to Draco's elbow and forearm. Harry tried not to touch Draco's Mark, preferring to pretend it was not there. However, when Harry glanced at the Mark, he noticed that it had a large "X" engraved through it. Harry quickly smothered his anger.

Harry took Draco's hand in his own and using his thumbs made small circles on Draco's palm and down his fingers. After a moment, Harry said, "You know, the more you're touched, the more sensitive you will become. These," Harry gave Draco's fingers a slight squeeze, "Are now your eyes. We want them to sensitize really quick, so I'm going to rub your hands and fingers on a daily basis." Harry continued to lightly massage Draco's hands, when he finished he rinsed Draco's arm and hesitated.

"Do you want to do your chest or shall I?" asked Harry, blushing, very glad Draco was blind.

Draco was curious so he said, "Go ahead." He leaned back. He knew his body was gorgeous.

Harry could not believe the way Draco said those words. They drawled off his tongue in a husky, sensual tone. That did not help Harry; he immediately turned an even brighter red then realized that the blood was not only gushing to his face. Harry, who had respectively kept his gaze away from Draco's lower body, got a full view and gasped lightly. _Wow_, Harry thought.

Draco heard a slight intake of breath. Guessing the reason for the gasp, Draco said, "I know."

Harry stared incredulously at Draco. _Could you get more arrogant?_ He knew he didn't say anything out loud. He decided to ignore Draco's comment and turned his attention to Draco's upper body, which was just as appealing as the lower. Draco's stomach had a full six-pack. His chest was strongly muscled complete with hard, pink nipples. Harry slowly caressed Draco's chest and stomach with his cloth and hands.

Draco enjoyed the feel of Harry's strong fingers cascading slowly over his body. Draco knew that his other senses were already making up for the lost of the other and were becoming more sensitive. He tried to urge his body to respond to the touch. He closed his eyes and concentrated on Harry's slow movements. Harry's touch was fast becoming intoxicating and almost more than Draco could bear.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked when he noticed that Draco's breathing quickened.

Draco opened his eyes, swallowed, and gasped out, "Your hands ... it's like a sensory overload. It feels so good, though."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Draco gasped, shutting his eyes tight. "Just...just use less pressure." Draco was concentrating hard to stop his blood from flowing to a certain body part.

"All right ..." Harry was confused; he was already using feather light touches. Harry stopped lingering and paid more attention to cleaning rather than the feel of Draco's skin. He finished Draco's chest, moved straight to his strong legs and feet, when he finished Harry asked Draco continue by himself.

"Ok," said Draco, his breathing slowing down. He felt like his head was going to burst, there were so many sensations running through it. He took the cloth from Harry and slowly began to wash himself. He would have definitely turned hard if Harry decided to complete washing his entire body.

"Are you all right for a moment? I'm just going to change your sheets." Harry said, giving Draco privacy.

"I'm fine," Draco whispered.

"Call if you need me," Harry said, leaving the door open.

Draco took a deep breath. He thought the bath would be an awkward experience but Harry's skilled hands changed his mind. It was actually quite pleasant, perhaps too much. Draco's head was still throbbing. He absent mindedly washed himself, thinking. _Why is Potter doing this for me? I know he's the 'golden' boy, but who is that forgiving? After everything I did to him… But he has nothing to gain... He can't send me to Azkaban. I was a spy for the light. He's seen the Mark though. Maybe he knows I was a spy?_ Draco felt his left forearm, feeling it for some movement. There was none. Draco traced the large 'X'. The Mark was now an ugly tattoo, a reminder. His sight had paid the highest price for doing what was right, instead of what was easy.

* * *

Let's all be as nice as the following people and review! Dubbedvwgirl, lilyseyes27, Drake Cullen, Kohaku-Yuuga's-rembrance, k-cat, Maddevillechilde, and Everythingforme.

Cheers, Darkmeadow


	6. Chapter 6: Call Out

Just To See You

Chapter 6: Call out

By Darkmeadow777

"Call out to me

Just reach out your hand to mine and I'll be there as soon as I can

Call out to me

When you don't know which way to turn, oh, you know where I am

Remember, if you need love

I'll be right there, I'll be right there

Just call out, Just call out"

From "Call Out To Me" by Kathy Troccoli

A/N: There is an innocent bit of smut in this chapter…don't get to excited! It's a one sided dream.

* * *

After Harry dried off Draco, he gave him a new gown and led him back to his bed. Harry pulled the sheets back and Draco crawled in, carefully feeling his way.

"Do you still want to go for a walk tomorrow?" Harry asked.

"I've nothing better to do," Draco drawled.

"See you tomorrow, then," Harry said, as he walked out the door.

Sandra watched Harry leave. He had an odd look on his face. It looked vengeful and happy at the same time. Sandra smiled to herself and thought, _Dragon taming is going well, then._

* * *

Harry entered his flat, walked past his couch and sat at his small square table. It was completely strewn with books, parchment, inkpots and quills. Harry pulled a piece of parchment toward him with Hermione's handwriting. It was a list of spells and curses that would help Harry survive. All of them had check mark next to them in his own writing.

Over the past two years, Harry had become more powerful. More powerful than he would like to admit or know. His hatred for the Dark Lord and his minions had grown so strong that Harry was scared that it would consume him. He had talked to Hermione and Ron about it, but they thought it was the determination to complete his destiny and the desire to avenge his parents, Sirius and Dumbledore. The Dark Lord was even making that harder by disappearing. Harry gave the man credit; he did know how to hide. The question was 'why'?

Harry had known that Voldemort had a spy, but none of the senior members of the Order would tell him who it was. Only that who ever it was saved countless lives and that the spy was well in the inner circle. Harry gasped as something clicked. _Draco was that spy. It would explain why he was blinded and why he had his Mark crossed out. But why hadn't Voldemort just killed him? Maybe Voldemort was catching onto the fact that there were things worse than death. Being trapped in your head with the knowledge that you failed. You have saved countless lives and yet, this is how you're repaid? It maintained the fact that Voldemort was in control. You are an example of what he can do to a man. And he has lots of examples -- too many --_

Harry's eyes focused and noticed that he was crushing the parchment tightly in his hand. He took some deep breaths. Harry had finally begun to realize that his anger was a hindrance and not a help when under pressure. It clouded his mind when he needed it clear. He had spent two years practising and it paid off; all but two of the horcruxes were sitting on his nightstand. He kept them after they had been deactivated as a reminder, an incentive and as a reminder of sacrifice. Harry got up and started to make his dinner before retiring for the night.

* * *

Harry Potter was dreaming. It was a good dream; he did not want to wake. Long, cold fingers spidered across Harry's tanned bare chest, causing him to suck in his breath. Warm, soft lips were pressed sensually to his jugular; a moist, hot tongue snaked out slowly tracing its way up. Harry elicited a low moan, while tilting his head so the lips and tongue would have more access. The tongue retracted, leaving the lips to plant a series of light kisses along Harry's jaw line. The cold fingers were now slowly circling Harry's hard nipples. The feather light kisses ended up on the corner of Harry's mouth. Harry turned his head sideways to meet the lips. The kiss was gentle and sweet. It was heaven. Harry slightly opened his mouth and a hot tongue traced Harry's lips before slowly entering. Harry pulled the tongue deeper into his mouth, leading a slow dance of exploration. The hands on Harry's chest sank lower, sliding down Harry's naked side causing his breath to hitch. Cold fingers slowly traced the muscular line between Harry's thigh and groin. The tongue slowly withdrew from Harry's mouth and made its way down, kissing and sucking. The mouth stopped at Harry's belly button to tease it with a tongue, then moved farther down. As soon as the moist tongue touched Harry's most sensitive area, he jolted awake.

* * *

9:00am. Harry sat breathing heavily. The dream was very vivid and intense, the evidence was holding up Harry's boxers. Harry groaned and headed for his large bathroom to take care of his problem.

Harry had just finished his shower, and was contemplating what to wear when a thought sparked in his mind. _Draco did not have any clothes and he would sure as hell not want to go anywhere in his hospital gown_. Harry groaned, he dressed himself then grabbed some extra clothes and shoes. They were nearly the same size, but Draco was perhaps two inches taller than Harry.

Harry greeted Sandra when he arrived at the hospital then went up to Draco's room. He couldn't help but notice the knowing smile that played on her lips. Shrugging it off, he knocked on Draco's door and was greeted with a very grumpy sounding "Fuc' uf!"

Harry rolled his eyes, opened the door and was slightly thrown off by Malfoy's loud voice, obviously fully awake now.

"Can you see I'm trying to fucking sleep! It's not like I got any last night! Not with the damn beeping and random people walking by! I --!"

Harry cut Draco off with a sharp, "Would you shut up! You're the one waking everyone up!"

Recognizing that he could be rude to this voice Draco replied, "No, actually you're waking me up! What the hell are you doing here so early? What time is it?"

"It's quarter after ten," said Harry. "That's barely early. I'm here so that we can get you out of here for a while. It's obviously having a negative effect on you . . ."

Draco couldn't argue with that. "Where are we going? Out, so I can flash all the stupid muggles?" Draco asked, disdainfully. "I'm sure as hell not going out in anything but this stupid 'dress' you make me wear.

"It's not a dress, Draco. It's –"

"Why are you calling me by my given name, Potter?" Draco interrupted, rudely.

Harry stared incredulously at Draco. "Well, I figured that seeing as I have seen you naked; I have the right to do so. You can call me 'Harry'."

"Well, _Harry_, as much as that thought sickens me, you have a good point. But I'm still not going anywhere with my ass hanging out . . . even if it is a nice ass."

"Well, the citizens of London will just have to wait for a while to see your ass because I have courteously brought you clothes. I would have just transfigured some, but then my magical signature could be traced and that could put us both in danger."

"Right. Thanks, Potter, but do you expect me to have 5 inches of my leg sticking out?" Draco asked, rudely.

"Well, Draco, I know you can't see me, but if you did, you would know that you're only two inches taller than I am and about the same size. Or you could decline my offer and just be stuck in here all day."

Harry waited. Draco sighed then said, "You drive a hard bargain. What did you bring me? I suppose anything is better than this stupid dress."

"Yeah, we upgraded to a paper bag," Harry replied. Draco narrowed his silver eyes at Harry's waist. Harry smirked. "I brought you black pants, a white button up, socks and shoes."

"I suppose that will do," Draco huffed.

Harry lost it. "Draco, would you please get off your high horse and swallow your pride. You are not really in a position to argue here. I know you really wanna leave this place for a while, but I don't have to take you anywhere. I'm doing this strictly out of the goodness of my heart," Harry said, calmly then added, "A heart is that thing in your chest keeping you alive. Maybe we can chip some of the ice away."

"Potter, I think I have every right to be bitter here! I was fucking sliced up and blinded!" Draco said yelled.

"You can be bitter, but you don't have to. You can accept what happened and move on. I know you're not a quitter, Draco. I am going to teach you how to live again. This is not where your life will end . . . When you are fully ready to tell me what happened, I'll listen. I am your only friend right now, Draco," Harry said truthfully.

Draco sighed. He knew Potter was right and he would have to trust him. He did not have a choice. If the Death Eaters found him, who knows what they would do . . . well, Draco knew what they could do. He had first hand experience and it sickened him.

"You're right, Pot – Harry," Draco said quietly. "Can I have the clothes?"

Harry handed Draco the bag and lead him off the bed to the bathroom. "Call if you need me."

After a few minutes, Draco's voice filtered through the door. "Uh . . . P– Harry?" The door was opened and Draco's pleading eyes looked past Harry. His shirt was open. Harry realized his problem; Draco couldn't do the buttons by himself. Harry silently took the buttons and started to slide them though the matching holes. Harry tried not to touch Draco's pale chest as he did so.

After helping Draco tie his shoes, Harry took his arm and slowly guided him from the room. "Let's go," said Harry.

* * *

A/N: What's that! Is it the beginning of trust? (. . . Yes!) All right, next chapter we find out what exactly happened to poor Draco. That is just a taste of what the future love scenes will be like (a long way off, but that is what dreams are for). . . Let me know what you think so I can change it if I have to! Oh, I'm moving soon, and with very little computer time, so the updates will be very random from now on . . . I'll try to write some long hand and have them ready to type! Please review! 


	7. Chapter 7: Scars

Just To See You

Chapter 7: Scars

By Darkmeadow777

_"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is that I care too much_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel"_

_-From "Scars" by Papa Roach_

* * *

Harry slowly led Draco out of the hospital, across a busy road and into the park. Draco was tightly holding Harry's arm as though the Gryffindor would let go and run away. Harry walked slowly, making sure to point out any bumps or obstacles on the pathway. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was shining and there were no rain clouds in sight. The grass was a brilliant green, the birds were chirping and there were children playing games. They had only been walking a short time when Draco asked to sit down. Harry steered Draco to a bench and they both sat down. Draco's leg was touching Harry's and he seemed reluctant to move. He would not know if Harry just decided to get up and leave quietly.

After an awkward silence, Harry asked, "Draco, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," Draco said

"What exactly can you see?" Harry asked, gently.

Draco sighed. He did not want to play these games with Harry Potter, but the nagging thought that Harry was his only friend was suddenly brought to the surface. Draco paused to gather his thoughts. Harry watched as Draco's eyes flickered around the scene in front of him. "I can see absolutely nothing -- it's all black."

"Even if the sun is shining on your face, like now?"

"Well, I feel the sun on my face, but it's just . . . black."

"Alright, Draco lets do a little exercise. I want you to describe to me what you 'see' with your other senses."

Draco was smart enough to know doing this pointless exercise would help him in the long run, so he played along. "I can feel the sun on my face. It's really warm. God help you if I get sunburn, by the way. I can feel the slight wind. The leaves are rustling. There are some stupid kids playing not far from us -- I can hear them laughing. The birds are chirping. There's lots of traffic noises. I assume the grass is green, the trees and flowers are in bloom and as stupid as this is, I am beginning to get a picture in my mind. How did I do?" Draco asked.

"You did very well," Harry replied. Harry hesitated for a while before asking, "Draco, before I continue to help you I need you to truthfully answer a question for me."

" . . . Alright," Draco replied, uncertainly.

"Did you spy for the light?" said Harry, clearly.

With no hesitation, Draco said, "Yes. And I would do it again. I know that I saved a lot of people, P-Harry. I wanted to follow the path that my father set for me, but over time, I knew it was wrong. I see the faces of the people I murdered every time I go to sleep." Before Draco knew it, his shell broke down around him and he was telling his whole story.

"One day I woke up and I knew something was going to happen. I knew it was suspicious when Severus invited me for tea. I did a spell; there was nothing in the tea! I don't know how he managed that," Draco whispered, looking in Harry's direction. He didn't really know why he was telling Harry all this, but something in him told him to trust Harry.

Harry felt his anger spike at the mention of Snape, but managed to quash it. He kept quiet, so Draco would continue to let go of his pain and anger. He was obviously looking for release. Harry's heart went out to him; he knew what it was like to keep things bottled up. He knew that Draco was telling the truth. He didn't know why, but he did.

"When I woke up, I couldn't see anything. All I knew was that my entire body felt like it was on fire and I was lying in dirt. I've never experienced so much pain. I guess I passed out again and then I woke up in the hospital. Then I threw a fit," Draco said, as though in a trance. "But I don't understand how they found out I was the spy. The Dark Lord is a very difficult person to hide things from. I thought I found a way around that. I never once consciously admitted to myself that I was a spy. I knew what I was doing, of course. I risked my life for these innocent families and most of them won't even know of my sacrifice. Now, I have a mutilated body, a father who hates me and a mother who . . . will probably already be dead! I keep asking myself if what I did was right . . ."

Harry felt a sudden urge to gather Draco in his arms and kiss away the hurt. Instead, he put his hand on Draco's knee and squeezed. "You did the right thing. You can finally start to live your life the way you want to, Draco. Your father won't take you back as long as Voldemort is alive, I know you know that." Harry saw Draco flinch at this. It hurt him but he knew it to be true. "I'm working on finishing him right now, but no one knows where he went. He disappeared the same night you would've been blinded. Do you know anything? Where he could've gone?"

"I did start to notice that he was telling me less and less, so I started to be careful. I honestly have no idea why he would've disappeared, or where he would've gone to. You have to believe me, Harry, I don't know!" Draco said, desperately, his silver eyes danced around Harry's face.

"I kind of figured that you wouldn't know. I guessed that the Dark Lord was the one who did this to you and that you were a spy," Harry said, gently. They sat in silence for a while, before Harry asked, "Draco, I made you an appointment for a massage therapist, next week. It's going to help your senses to come along quicker."

"Sure," said Draco. "That's good. Can we continue to walk?"

Harry took Draco's arm again and they walked for a while longer.

"Harry?" Draco said, quietly.

"Yes, Draco?"

"Why are you doing this? We're enemies. Are you going to try to send me to Azkaban?"

"'The best way to destroy your enemy is to make him your friend'. You're no longer my enemy, Draco and I will be your friend if you let me," Harry said. "No, Draco, I'm not going to send you to Azkaban. I don't think I could, even if I wanted to. There is no case against you. The senior members of the Order know that you're the spy, right?"

"Yes, I would send them Patronuses. You didn't say why you were doing this," Draco said.

"Do I really need a reason to help you, Draco? Not everyone needs to gain something when you help another. Besides, maybe I could gain a friend?" Harry said, with a smile.

The tension was washed away as Draco started to laugh. It was the first time in a long time that he laughed. "Whoa! I think you're moving too fast, P-Harry. Right now, we are only on a first name basis, got it? We are still a Gryffindor and a Slytherin, after all."

"I don't care that you're a Slytherin, Draco."

"Yeah, well, you weren't raised to think that everyone who is not a Slytherin should be drawn and quartered," Draco smirked.

Harry snorted. There would be no telling Draco otherwise -- at least for now.

Harry continued to lead Draco through the park. They had walked for quite a while before Draco suddenly stopped and swayed on the spot. Harry used both hands to steady the taller man, while urgently asking, "What's wrong!"

"I'm really dizzy . . .," Draco said as he slumped to the ground. "I just need a minute."

Harry sat with Draco on the ground until Draco felt steady enough to stand. "Ready to continue? We'll head back to the hospital."

A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated! Thank you for the following for reviewing: Helloitsme-again, KimAlexandra, BlackMystick, Yamimoukin, Baka alchemist, Kuramalovergirl, and K-cat. And a little late from chapter 6: Golden+girl736, Kougagurl666, Meyshi, Lilyseyes27, Potterluvva and Drake Cullen,


	8. Chapter 8: Magic Touch

Just To See You  
By Darkmeadow777  
Chapter 8: Magic Touch

A/N: I am SO sorry about the long wait! The move was completely hectic and we didn't even have a computer or the internet and when we got the computer is was a complete piece of crap and then it took like a week to get the internet set up cuz our phone company are idiots! Updates will now be much sooner! Sorry again for the long wait.

* * *

Over the next week Draco didn't seem to make much progress. His pale skin was quickly becoming transparent. His eyes were being taken over by large, black bags - making him look like he had died recently. Draco started to drop weight dramatically and Harry was getting very worried, but when he asked, he was shrugged off. Harry didn't pry in fear of Draco withdrawing further into himself.

Harry would take him to the park everyday and he could swear that Draco enjoyed it. Draco would be his sarcastic, rude self and Harry would be sickly sweet to him because he knew that it pissed off Draco. Draco had caught on to the fact that Harry would never leave him and was testing how far he could go. Harry continued to massage Draco's hands and fingers, which were becoming more sensitive by the day. Harry would bathe Draco every once in a while, but usually the other nurses beat him to it.

The morning of the Massage Therapy session, Harry stopped by Ron and Hermione's apartment on the floor below his and knocked on the door. Hermione opened the door after a moment and welcomed him in.

"Hey, Hermione. No, nothing is wrong," Harry said knowing her next question. The relief was evident on her face. "I need you to look in to something for me . . . "

" . . . And that something is?" Hermione asked after a lengthy pause.

"Well, I'm just curious, but there's this . . . guy at the hospital. He's blind. I was just wondering if there was any spells or potions that could cause blindness or get rid of it."

"Well, you will be happy to know that I don't know any off the top of my head. . . Wipe that smirk off your face! I'll look into it for you," Hermione said then gave Harry a wink and a knowing smile.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Oh, nothing," Hermione said airily. "Do you work today?"

"Yeah, I'm heading there right now," said Harry with a bright smile. "Why?" His smile faded and Harry glared at her suspiciously.

"I was just wondering why you had that look about you."

"What look?" Harry asked genuinely confused.

"Oh, look at the time! You're going to be late if you don't hurry," Hermione said as she shoved Harry out the door and slammed it in his face.

Hermione turned around to see Ron coming out of the bedroom.

"Hey, was that Harry? How come he didn't wait for me?" Ron asked confused.

"He had to work," said Hermione shortly. "We have a problem, Ron."

* * *

Harry arrived at the hospital early so he could take Draco down to the masseuse himself. It was nearly 11 am. Harry greeted Sandra, who seemed to have an infuriating all-knowing smile reserved for Harry whenever they crossed paths. Harry smiled back at her and slowly opened Draco's door.

He was lying in bed seemingly staring at the ceiling. His dull eyes glided over in Harry's direction and listened for a moment before saying, "Are you going to take me to the park today, Harry?"

"How did you know it was me?"

"I can tell by your breathing and the sound of your footsteps. And you're the only one that doesn't just burst in here trying to make me wake up."

"You're not sleeping?" Harry asked nonchalantly hoping to finally get an answer out of the Slytherin.

"No."

"Do you . . . want to talk about it?"

"There is nothing to talk about," Draco drawled.

"All right, if you ever need someone to listen then I'm here for you. Are you ready for your appointment?"

"No, Potter, I'm not ready for my appointment."

Harry raised an eye brow and asked, " . . .Why not? You don't have to be clean or dressed for that matter, it's only a few floors down."

" . . .You're joking, right? How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not going _anywhere_ in this stupid dress," Draco said stubbornly.

"Oh, for God's sake! Not the 'stupid dress' tirade again!" Harry said exasperatedly and threw his hands up in the air. "Listen, Draco, I'm not going to spend an hour cleaning and dressing you for a massage therapy session! She's probably going to smother you in oil anyway. And you're going, so you don't have a choice!"

"Make me," Draco challenged and folded his arms.

Harry sighed then grabbed Draco around the back and grabbed his knees with the other arm, cradling him like a baby. He was much too light and Harry didn't use much strength to hold the flailing man against his chest. Despite Draco's yelling, swearing, punching and hitting, Harry managed to get Draco to his appointment on time.

Harry entered the room and threw Draco on a padded table with a small hole near one end. Draco continued his tirade until he heard someone come into the room. A young woman wearing a lab coat was standing in the doorway looking startled at Draco's behavior.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" the woman asked when Draco paused to take a breath.  
Draco snapped his mouth shut and had the decency to look embarrassed. Draco noted her soft, pleasant voice.

Harry answered for Draco. "Not at all, Linde. Draco - this is Linde Teman. She's the resident Massage Therapist.

Draco held his hand out in front of him, lateral to where Linde stood. "Pleased to make your acquaintance. I apologize; you've caught me at a bad moment," said Draco pompously.

"Apology accepted, Mr. Malfoy. We might as well get started," said Linde shaking Draco's hand.

"All yours, Linde," said Harry.

"'All ours', you mean. I'm going to teach you the massage then you can do it yourself."

"_I'm_ doing it?" said Harry aghast at the same time Draco said, "_He'_s doing it?"

"Of course! I can't possibly to it everyday! You should see my schedule!" said Linde. "Can we get started? All right, Draco, we're going to start with a scalp massage and move down toward the feet. I'm going to go first, and then Harry will have a go. Is that all right?"

" . . . Yes, that's fine," said Draco nervously.

"You just relax then." Linde moved over to Draco who was sitting on the table. She moved behind him and slowly pulled spread fingers over his scalp and down the base of his neck. "These slow, soothing strokes originated in Sweden. That's the massage we're going to be trying. It's designed to increase blood flow and circulation. The more blood to an area, the more it can respond. That's what Harry's been doing to your fingers. Watch how I do it, Harry. I'm going to get you to practise next."

Linde was slowly, calmly going about her job but Draco was sitting straight up and was looking very tense. "Draco, relax. Let the tension flow out of you. Concentrate on how it feels," said Linde in her soft, soothing voice. She took Draco's head in her hands and began to make small, slow circles with her thumbs on the base of Draco's neck.

"Do you see what I'm doing here, Harry? Just keep your strokes smooth and flowing and your circles tight. You're hands will always be pushing in the direction of the heart. You try."

Draco tensed again and sat very still as though he was waiting for a deadly blow to fall.

"All right, here we go, Draco," said Harry quietly. He softly placed his hands in Draco's soft hair and followed the same steps as Linde; making soft, soothing strokes. Harry didn't notice that he was smiling like the Cheshire cat and Linde was too polite to say anything.

After a minute Linde stopped Harry and said, "Wow. You have good hands, Harry." Draco silently agreed. "I took the liberty of writing down all the massages and their steps, so you don't forget Harry. You're going to have to do this everyday or teach another nurse to do it. It'll speed up Draco's healing process a great deal. Next we move to shoulders and back. So Draco, I'm going to have you remove your robe, lie down on the table and Harry will cover you with a towel. I'm just going to grab the oil."

Draco slowly reached for the bottom of his gown and pulled it over his head. While Harry stared at Draco's thin body, Draco carefully felt his way to the table and laid face down. After a moment too long, a towel as placed over his lower half. Linde came back in talking up a storm and dissolving the tension between the two men.

"The Swedish massage comprises of five main strokes to achieve its relaxing and healing effects. Effleurage, Petrissage-"

"Linde," interrupted Harry. She sounded too much like Hermione to let her go on. "We really won't remember those, so can we get on with it?"

"Umm . . . sure. Sorry. Anyway, I'm going to use lavender oil. Very calming. Just relax, Draco," said Linde rubbing the oil in her hands.

Linde placed her warm, oily hands on Draco's back and slowly pushed them from the small of his back up to his shoulder blades. Harry watched closely. After a while she slowly began to gently knead Draco's back, slowly squeezing and rolling the marred skin. She placed her fingertips on the sides of Draco's spine and made deep circular movements all the way up and over his shoulder blades. By this time, Draco looked half asleep. Harry smiled to himself. Harry continued to study Draco's face until his eyes flew open when Linde started to use the edges of her hands to chop all down his back. After she finished with the chopping she used the tips of her fingers to make prodding movements then used her fist to repeat the movements.  
She finished off the massage by pressing her hands on the small of Draco's back and rapidly shaking for a few seconds, causing Draco to jump.

"I don't like that last one," Draco mumbled still half asleep.

Linde laughed and said, "But it's the most important one because it boosts circulation and increases muscle power. Ready to try Harry? Do you remember what I did?"

Harry nodded and took the lavender oil from Linde and put some in his hands and rubbed his hands briskly together.

Draco closed his eyes and waited for the soft, soothing stokes to come. Hands slowly touched the small of his back and slowly pushed upwards. Harry's long fingers had a different feel than Linde's shorter fingers. They were strong, yet shy.

While Harry continued this movement Linde said with a smile, "You know Draco, you were one of the very few men who has not become aroused when I did their massage."

Draco immediately turned bright red and felt himself harden at Harry's skilled touch. Harry fought keep himself in check.

"Harry, do you remember the steps? They're written down here if you need them," said Linde placing a stack of paper on a table. "I've got to start another massage right now, so just turn him over and start his chest and if you're finished by that time, do his hands. Thanks!" And she left before Harry could get a word out. Harry stared at the door for a moment then remembered what he was doing.

He returned his hands to Draco's back and felt the tightened muscles underneath. Harry leaned over Draco and whispered in his ear, "Just relax, Draco." He heard Draco swallow. Harry smiled and continued to work his hands over Draco's bumpy skin.

It wasn't long before Draco's breathing was labored, but Harry ignored it and made his touch more sensual. Slowly running his hands down the sides of Draco's trim waist and over his defined shoulder blades. It was not long after continuing this motion that Draco let out a husky, "Oh, god . . ." and had to lean up slightly.

Through his smile Harry said, "I guess I'm too much for you. Do you need a break?" _'Or help_?' Harry added in his thoughts.

A/N: I'm so sorry about the long delay! It will be back to normal now! I'm going to finish this story even if it kills me! Don't give up on me!


	9. Chapter 9: Beginnings

Just To See You  
By Darkmeadow777  
Chapter 9: Beginnings

"When my feelings start to show  
When my body tells me so, I know it's true  
It's beginning to feel like, beginning to feels like love  
Like the sun on my skin on a hot summers day  
Like a song in my head that won't go away  
Like the smile on my face 'cos you make me happy"  
**It's Beginning To Feel Like Love Lyrics** by **Mis-Teeq**

Harry stood with his hands on Draco's back watching Draco's face carefully. His eyes were shut tight and he was breathing heavily. Harry's imagination went into over-drive, which did not help his current situation. Harry shook his head to clear it.

"I guess I must be better at massage then I thought. Or you just don't like Linde? Or was it my manly presence? Just which way do you swing, Mr. Malfoy?" Harry said with humor clear in his voice. It wasn't everyday that you could taunt your old rival.

"Would that bother you?" gasped Draco.

Harry silently cheered. "Not at all. I would make a very poor homosexual if I was a homophobe."

"Wait, you're gay, too?" Draco groaned.

"Would that bother you?" Harry shot back. Inside he was a bit scared of Draco's response. He held his breath.

"I guess not. Right now it does given my current situation," Draco gasped.

"You want me to leave?" asked Harry, breathing again. Then unable to stop himself, he added with a smirk, "Or do you want some 'assistance'?"

"Can you even say that to a patient?" Draco asked, annoyed. "Don't get me wrong - I like men, but you're Harry Potter. That thought is still repugnant to me."

"I'd say very 'repugnant' . . . given your current situation," Harry snapped back with a smirk.

"Just show me to a fucking bathroom."

"Alright," said Harry grabbing Draco's gown.

Draco sat up and Harry didn't even try to divert his eyes. He helped Draco into his gown and led him over to the bathroom.

"Do you want me to wait here?"

"Just get out, Harry."

"Okay," said Harry and walked out and shut the door behind him trying not to think about what was going on inside.

* * *

"Problem?" asked Ron confused.

"Yes. With Harry," said Hermione.

"What's wrong? I thought he seemed really happy lately."

"He is, but he's in love with one of his patients!"

". . . Why is that a problem?" Ron asked.

"It's not."

"Eh? I'm confused. You said we have a problem. Where's the problem, then?"

"Harry will eventually figure out that he's in love. But when he does, he's going to freak out because he won't want to put that person in danger. He won't pursue it, then they will both be broken hearted and Harry will be miserable again," said Hermione in her calm, teaching voice.

". . . So we should stop Harry from figuring out he's in love?"

"NO! Ron! We have to be supportive! We have to be reassuring! I've never seen Harry so happy before!"

"But what if it doesn't work out between them?"

"Then Harry will at least know what love is like and that he _can_ love. Besides, Voldemort is AWOL. That will give them some time."

Ron cringed. "Do you think he's ready? To battle . . . him?"

"For god's sake, say his name! I do. He duels with all the best Aurors and wins easily. He's powerful, but what he needs is faith in love. That's how he's going to win against such evil. Voldemort has always underestimated the power of love, but he knows how to use it against us . . .," Hermione trailed off.

"But _we_ love Harry."

"Yes, but in a completely different way."

"But it's still love."

"Yes, but he needs to experience what we have," said Hermione gently, placing her hand over Ron's.

"So what are we going to do?"

Hermione's lips curved upwards in a mischievous smile.

* * *

After what seemed like an age, the bathroom door opened and Draco came out still very red in the face.

"Did you want to continue with the massage? Or wait until Linde comes back," Harry asked innocently.

Going redder in the face, Draco muttered something with only the word "Linde" comprehensible.

Not missing the chance to embarrass Draco Malfoy again, Harry said, "Did you just turn red, Draco? You are! If you were any redder then you would look like a tomato!"

"Shut up, Harry," Draco muttered. "I'm sure it would have happened to you, too."

"Really? I'm sure you would like to put that theory to work," said Harry cockily.

"You know, I really don't like this whole 'confidence' thing you seemed to have caught on to."

"Oh, but I'm enjoying this so much!" said Harry. Draco could hear the words come from a bright smile.

Draco opened his mouth for another scathing retort, but the door opened and Linde walked in.

"Oh, are you done, Harry? Front and back?" Linde looked impressed.

"Uh, we had a . . . problem spring up," replied Harry.

A look of comprehension crossed Linde's face. "Oh! Right. Well, I think that I'll just finish the massage and Harry can take mental notes and do it tomorrow. How does that sound, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco's only reply was to turn brighter red.

Harry led Draco back to the table face up. Linde rubbed the oil into her hands and said, "Harry, we won't do the front today because it's done just like the back. We'll, just move on to arms and legs." Linde started run her hands along Draco's arms while saying, "It's the same basic principal – smooth and flowing strokes towards the heart and ended with your hand massage."

By the time she had finished the massage, Draco was nearly asleep. Linde motioned for Harry to follow her outside. When she closed the door, she said, "Harry, whatever you did to, uh, get a rise out of him you should tone that down because he's not just going to let you continue with a hard on. It's really embarrassing for him and if that happens every time he's not going to progress as fast as we like. And he's going to connect the feeling of embarrassment with the massages and then he's not going to enjoy them."

"Hey, I was just doing what you told me! It's probably not helping that he's gay, too," Harry defended himself.

"Oh, alright, then! Just lighten your touch and try not to be so . . . sensual."

"You know I've never ever thought of myself as 'sensual'," said Harry.

"Well, it probably doesn't help that he likes you," said Linde bluntly.

Harry's brain stopped for a moment. "Wait! He likes me!" said Harry astonished.

"Man, guys are clueless. I'm amazed that guys continue to evolve with brains because you sure as hell don't use them! See you around Harry," said Linde shaking her head and heading for her office.

Harry stood dumbfounded for a minute trying to comprehend what Linde had said. He needed to talk to Hermione.

Harry re-entered the room to see Draco asleep and snoring ever so softly. Harry smiled endearingly and sat down on the chair to wait until Draco woke up. The smile brightened as Harry thought, _'he likes me!'_

Harry took Draco back to his room over an hour later, said goodbye and then left for his building.

* * *

Harry knocked on Hermione's door for the second time that day and was greeted with the smiling girl. Harry noted that something was different about that smile. It looked almost predatory.

"Oh, hi, Harry! Two visits in one day! What brings you over again?" said Hermione with a bright, fake smile.

Harry still didn't feel very comfortable talking about being in love with other men when Ron was in the room. He gave Ron credit for taking it well when he came out almost a year ago. Hermione had said it was dream come true as she always hoped to have a gay best friend. "I, uh, wanted to talk to you," said Harry awkwardly, glancing at Ron.

Catching on immediately, Hermione said, "Ron could you . . ."

Ron looked slightly put out, but Hermione nodded frantically toward the door from behind Harry's back.

Ron's demeanor changed quickly and he said, brightly, "Oh! Well, I was just going to go and get us some . . . milk! Right, I'll catch you up, Harry."

After Ron left, Hermione dragged Harry across to the sitting area where some tea was already waiting. Harry noted that the milk jug was full. His heart swelled at the fact that he had such understanding friends.

"So, Harry what did you want to talk to me about?" said Hermione with a fake quizzical expression.

"Well, you know the blind guy that I told you about?" said Harry fidgeting with his hands, his eyes downcast.

Hermione nodded and Harry continued on, "Well, I think he likes me."

Hermione waited for a moment to see if Harry was going to elaborate and when he didn't she said, "And do you like him?"

"Yeah, but I really shouldn't," said Harry quickly.

"Well, he might be one of your patients, but you can't choose who you fall in love with, Harry. Your heart knowswho is good for you, so let it lead you.Besides he won't be in the hospital forever."

"Well, it's not even the patient thing. It's _who_ he is," said Harry in a pained voice.

"It's good to be in love, Harry! So who is he?" said Hermione eagerly.

Harry sighed, despondently, and said, "Keep in mind; I really do like him and he's different now."

"Okay . . . so you've met him before? I have I?" asked Hermione, her interest peaked.

"Don't freak out alright?" asked Harry. "Promise."

"Promise, Harry," said Hermione promptly.

"I – I think I'm in love with . . . Draco Malfoy."

A/N: If I have offended anyone with Linde's male comment, I didn't mean to!


	10. Chapter 10: Confession

**Just To See You  
By Darkmeadow777  
Chapter 10: Confession**

"I have been wrong about you.  
Thought I was strong without you.  
For so long nothing could move me.  
For so long nothing could change me.  
Now I feel myself surrender  
Each time I see your face.  
I am captured by your beauty,  
Your unassuming grace.  
And I feel my heart is turning,  
Falling into place.  
I can't hide  
Now hear my confession"  
"My Confession" By Josh Groban

Draco Malfoy was dreaming. It was a good dream; he did not want to wake. Familiar hands were softly caressing his face and neck. Draco could feel hot breath on his neck causing his hair to stand on end. Draco felt the presence getting closer and shuddered when a pair of soft lips touched his neck. The hands traced Draco's shoulders and biceps then down to his hands. The lips slowly left Draco's neck and his hand was slowly brought up where the lips softly pressed on Draco's palm. The lips continued up to Draco's wrist and along his forearm. While the lips passed back down to his wrist, a hand found Draco's bare chest and using the slightest touch, began to trace his well-defined muscles. The lips joined the hands shortly after using the softest of kisses. Draco's breathing began to quicken and would hitch every time the hands dipped below his navel. The hands would stop at Draco's breath and slowly began to rise back up. The lips found a nipple caressing it softly until a tongue seductively circled around it before carrying on to the next. The hands were hovering around Draco's navel slowly sinking lower while the lips rose up to the edge Draco's quivering lips. As soon as the lips pressed hard to Draco's, the hands found their prize and Draco sat bolt up and awake with the familiar beeping of medical instruments surrounding him He felt around his lap, then groaned while slipping off the bed to the bathroom.

* * *

Hermione smiled and said, "No, really. Who is it? You actually had me fooled for a second. Usually you're not very good at that kind of prank." 

"That's cuz it's not a prank. I meant what I said," said Harry with his most serious expression.

Hermione scoffed. "Harry, listen if you're trying to tell me that you've found Draco Malfoy when not even the order can track him down, you've got another thing coming. Ron might've believed you, but . . . even Neville wouldn't try that with me."

"I'm serious, Hermione! I did find Draco Malfoy! He's blind and I think I'm in love with him!" said Harry losing his patience. "A little help would be good right now!"

Hermione's face was frozen in a nervous smile and it was really starting to bother Harry. He waited for a while for the smile to slide off Hermione's face to be replaced with a frown.

"Harry, lets say I believe you for a minute. You found Draco Malfoy, the same Malfoy that is almost responsible for Dumbledore's death?" clarified Hermione.

"I don't blame him for that, Hermione. If my family was on the line, I would've done it, too," said Harry quietly, looking at his hands. "And so would you."

"Oh, Harry! What am I supposed to say to that! You, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, Savior of the Wizarding World, is in love with a blind Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Prince of Darkness?" Hermione almost shrieked. "Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds? If I didn't know you, I would say you were lying . . . or crazy." Hermione sighed and put her head in her hands. She blew out all the air from her lungs and looked back up at Harry who was looking worried. He had never seen Hermione loose her cool like this before.

"I don't know what to do! I'm so confused! I'm not supposed to be in love with my old rival! But you just told me that I can't help who I fall in love with! Don't you always tell me that love knows no reason!" implored Harry.

"What does he feel? Does he feel anything besides hatred toward you? Is he even gay?" asked Hermione incredulously.

"Yeah, he's gay. I don't really know what he feels but Linde said he liked me," Harry shrugged.

"Who the hell is Linde?" cried Hermione. This was becoming too much. Just the fact that Harry found Draco Malfoy without the Order knowing was a stretch.

"She's the massage therapist."

"So you're taking the word of a massage therapist. And you're in love with Draco Malfoy, the boy who tried to get you expelled in first year?" Hermione added for clarity.

"YES!"

"I have to see him," said Hermione bluntly.

"What? NO!" said Harry horrified.

"Why not! Why can't I help him, too?"

"Because he'll probably freak out! It took him like a month to get used to me!"

"Well, it's not like he's going to recognize me! Tell him I'm a doctor. If I can get his condition recognized, then I can try to find a cure, if there is one. You were asking me about magical blindness; I have to go back to Hogwarts or I would've had it sooner," said Hermione, logic taking over. "From what I did gather there aren't many blind magical people because they are usually cured right away. And that's usually because they screwed up a spell. It gets much harder to cure the longer they are blinded. Who blinded him?"

"He doesn't know for sure, but he knows it's because they found out he was the spy."

"Wait, Draco Malfoy is the spy! The spy that warned us about the Camden raid?" asked Hermione astounded. She stopped suddenly and pinched her arm then groaned when she was convinced that she wasn't dreaming.

"Yes, and the Heathrow, Oxford and the Norwich," reminded Harry.

"Oh my god! How do you know this isn't a trap?" asked Hermione.

"Hermione, Draco is a really bad actor. He could never pull it off, besides no one can fake that kind of emotion. Then there is the fact that he's blind . . ."

"How do you know he's blind?" countered Hermione.

"Because he is!" cried Harry, losing his patience. "Jesus, Hermione, how are you going to help me through this if you don't even believe me!"

"You don't exactly have the best track record for seeing all the angles, Harry!" Hermione spat. She regretted the comment immediately when she saw the hurt flash across his features. "Sorry, that was low. You have to admit that this is a lot to take in, Harry! I need to think on this, alright?"

"Forgive me if the weight of the wizarding world is making me hard to take," Harry replied bitterly. "Then add on the stress of being in love with Draco Malfoy, of all people.

Hermione pulled a reluctant Harry into a hug and said, "I'll come with you tomorrow when you see him and I'll check him out. Don't worry. Just go and get some sleep or look over your notes or something. I'm going to check some sources . . ." Hermione pulled away and started to scan her bookshelf.

After a moment she turned and saw Harry still sitting. She moved back to the couch and looked Harry straight in the eye and asked, "Are you really in love with Draco Malfoy?"

"Yes, I'm in love with Draco Malfoy," Harry whispered. Hermione had no choice but to believe him now.

"Okay. Go get some sleep. I won't let you down, Harry," said Hermione softly.

"Thanks, Hermione," said Harry and gave her another quick hug. Hermione was a constant in his life and he was glad to have her. She was one of the few people who saw the Harry and not the Potter.

Hermione watched Harry slowly get off the couch and close the door behind him. Harry is in love with Draco Malfoy. Well, I had better get used to it. But if he hurts Harry, then hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Hermione thought with a clenched fist. She suddenly burst out laughing at the thought of how Ron would react.

A/N: I love your reviews! (hint, hint) Thank you for reading my story! I love you all!


	11. Chapter 11: Realizations

**Just To See You  
By Darkmeadow777  
Chapter 11: Realizations**

"I love you...  
I hate you...  
I can't get around you...  
I breathe you...  
I taste you...  
I can't live without you...  
I just can't take any more...  
This life of solitude... "  
"Always" by Saliva

Harry was lying awake in bed waiting for his alarm to go off. He had been thinking about  
his talk with Hermione. He had honestly thought that she would have taken it better. But  
to be fair, the man that he was in love with had called her down all through school,  
insulted her best friends and never said anything remotely kind or even polite to her.  
Draco had done the same to him, but that was the past. Harry had already excepted that  
moved on.

_It was an awful lot to just dump on her._ _But she accepts it now and that's all that matters. Are Draco and I so different? So destined to hate each other, that the thought of us in love is so totally unthinkable? Why do I feel this way? Has Draco changed this much? How much have I changed?_ Harry had seen some awful things on his journey to destroy the horcruxes. Things that changed that way that he looked at the world. He was no longer the sheltered adolescent that left Hogwarts two years prior. _But if I was fighting for the light, for peace and for good, what had Draco seen?_ Harry's alarm answered loudly.

* * *

When Harry knocked on Hermione's door an hour later, it was opened by a flustered looking Hermione.

"Are you ready to go?" asked Harry.

"I want to talk to you about how I reacted last night. I was wrong and I'm sorry I hurt you. I regret pretty much everything I said. It was just so big and it came from out of no where. I mean, considering your past Draco Malfoy was the last person I thought you would fall in love with. In fact, he wouldn't even be on the list, but I thought about it all last night. I mean, maybe I thought that you're too good for him or something stupid like that but that's just me being over protective. But it doesn't matter what I think as long you two love each other. I want you to know that despite this rough start, I will be with you in whatever you choose to do and will support you fully," said Hermione in a rush. "And I've yet to tell Ron."

Harry was slightly taken aback by her spiel. "Oh, uh, all right. I thought about it, too and I'm sorry that I just kind of threw it out into the open. I understand why you reacted the way you did, so don't worry about it."

Hermione looked relieved at this and asked, "are you ready to go? The only thing that I'll be able to do is look at him, seeing as I can't use any magic or potions on him. Tell him that I'm just a random nurse doing a check up."

"So, about Ron," said Harry changing the subject. "What are we going to tell him?"

"The truth," said Hermione leading Harry out the door, so he couldn't see her worried expression.

Harry and Hermione walked to the hospital at a leisurely pace, each lost in thought. Harry broke the silence.

"Hermione, I should warn you before you see Draco. I told you he was the spy. Voldemort found out and he was tortured. There are scars on 90 percent of his body. Except on his face."

Hermione slowly absorbed the news. "Well, Lucius Malfoy wouldn't want a disfigured son. Even if he was a 'traitor'. Malfoys are known for their beauty after all."

"Beauty?" repeated Harry dumfounded.

"Yes, obviously you think that Malfoy is gorgeous."

"Well, yeah, but I never thought use that word to describe him."

"What would you use?" asked Hermione.

" . . . I don't know. Sandra had told me that I would like him and that he was very dragon like. Beautiful, yet dangerous . . .," Harry trailed off, lost in thought.

"Well, that's fitting. But you did just call him 'beautiful'."

* * *

Harry and Hermione arrived at the hospital. Harry greeted Sandra at the front desk and introduced Hermione. They continued up to Draco's room in silence.

Harry didn't bother to knock anymore because if he did, then Draco would assume that he was a nurse and start swearing.

"Hello, Harry." said Draco cheerfully, then paused. Draco's bright expression quickly morphed into an indifferent mask. "And friend," he added with a touch of malice.

Hermione noted the first name basis. Hermione took a moment to study the man before her. He had become very thin and sickly looking. His cheek bones had sunk in and his eyes were framed with large, dark bags. Hermione remember him to be pale, but now he resembled the color of fresh cream. His eyes had lost the glittering hatred that she always associated with him. She had noticed when Draco greeted Harry there was emotion shining brightly. It had left abruptly when he sensed her, leaving them dull and lifeless.

"Draco, this is a specialist from upstairs. She's just going to take a look at you." After a thought, Harry added, "be nice."

Draco sighed dramatically. "Very well. I'm not prodded and poked as much as I would like, after all."

Harry rolled his eyes with a small smile. Hermione gave him a look and started toward Draco.

"M-Draco. I'm just going to have a look at your eyes, so just look straight ahead." Hermione shone a small flash light with a magnifying glass at Draco's eye. "Can you tell me what you see?"

"I see turquois water slowly lapping up to a white sand beach, where a couple of small bamboo huts are spread out on." Draco faked a dreamy look. "Harry's been teaching me how to describe things," he clarified.

"Draco," Harry scolded. "He can't see anything - just black"

Hermione continued to look in Draco's eye. "That's interesting. Your pupils are reactive and your eyes aren't clouded. It's almost as light isn't reaching or reflecting on the back of your eye. If it doesn't then the retina can't change the light into electrical impulses. Those impulses are sent to the brain where you interpret them as images."

"Well, that's fabulous and everything, but what can you do to fix it?" asked Draco monotonously.

"I . . . don't know . . ." said Hermione sounding very awkward. She acted like she had never said those words before.

Draco turned in Hermione's direction and said, "that's very interesting." Harry noticed that he had an odd expression.

"You look like you've lost a lot of weight, Draco," said Hermione, changing the subject.

"I can't tell."

"He has," answered Harry.

"Are you eating?" asked Hermione.

"Yes," Harry answered for him.

"How are you sleeping lately?"

Draco glared in Harry's direction and waited to see if he was going to answer for him, when he didn't he said, "badly."

"Were you very active before this happened? Like did you run or lift weights?"

"All the time. The walks with Harry help a bit. I can sleep a little better if I'm really tired."

"Alright. So your exercise rate when down, you're eating properly and you're still dropping weight? So it's the lack of sleep and most likely stress. Do you suffer from nightmares or flash-backs?"

"Sometimes," Draco answered quitely to his knees.

"Harry, there's a gym in the hospital, right? Take him there and tire him out." A vivid mental image flashed across Harry's brain. "Build up his muscle mass again. I'm going to go and check up on a few things and I'll see you both later." Hermione winked at Harry, turned around and left the room.

Harry stood for a moment in silence and was just about to break it, when Linde came bustling in. "Oh, you're here! Good. I just dropped by to see when you were going to do your massage, Harry." Linde stood smiling at a rapidly blushing Harry. "No time like the present!"

"I, uh, forgot a - about . . . that," Harry stammered.

"His hospital bed will do fine," said Linde, as she closed the curtains around Draco's bed. "You have your oil and everything? Do you remember the steps?" she asked Harry. She didn't wait for an answer. "Off with the gown, Draco. We can start with the back massage this time to get the blood flowing."

Draco heaved a fake sigh and pulled the gown over his head and lied face down on the bed.

Linde pulled the covers over Draco's lower half and waited expectantly for Harry to start. After a moment, she jerked her head in Draco's direction, indicating that Harry should start. Harry gave a start then walked over to the side of Draco's bed, feeling as though his legs were made of rubber. With shaking hands, he got the top off the oil and poured a small amount in his hands and rubbed them together.

Harry stood with his hands hovering Draco's tense back. He was nudged by Linde and his hands touched down.

"Draco, if you get too 'excited' just wait until Harry's done . . . or until you can't wait any longer. All right, have fun gentlemen. Well, not too much fun. See you around," said Linde, and she walked out the door.

Harry stood looking at the door with his mouth gaping and his entire face bright red.

"Jesus! She's worse than Hermione," Draco said to dispel the awkwardness. His face easily matched Harry's red complexion.

The sentence took a moment to register in Harry's brain. "Hermione?" he asked confused.

"Yes, Hermione," repeated Draco. "You know the previous busy body? Just in here, like 5 seconds before Linde?"

"How did you know it was her?" Harry asked dumfounded.

"She was nothing like any of the other specialists. Her voice was a big give-a-way. Can you get on with it? I'm getting cold." Draco had his face pressed into the mattress, effectively hiding his bright red face and quivering words. Harry could barely make him out.

"Oh, sorry," said Harry starting to rub the oil on to Draco's tensed back. Ten minutes had not even passed when Draco gasped out.

"You need to stop, Harry."

"Linde told us to keep going," said Harry. "You don't have to be embarrassed; it happens all the time to Linde."

"Please stop," Draco gasped out, and pushed Harry's hands away. He wrapped the sheet around his waist and struggled in the direction of the bathroom. Harry ran over and helped guide him.

"Just leave," floated from the closed door. Harry listened for a moment then left the room.

Draco heard Harry's foot steps lead away from the door before he sank down on the cool floor of the bathroom and wrapped his arms around his knees. His face was screwed up in effort to keep the tears from falling, but they fought their way out and down his pale face. _What's wrong with me? I hate him . . . don't I?_

A/N: Oh, looks like someone's resolve is changing . . . Will Harry EVER complete his massage? Are you all ready for Ron's reaction? Do you want a detailed massage? A Cherry on top? Let me know! Review are a godsend . . . but not as much as you lovely reviewers! I love you all!


	12. Chapter 12: Fallen

Just To See You  
By Darkmeadow777  
Chapter 12: Fallen

Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear  
Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
"Fallen" By Sarah McLauchlan

A/N: So what did you think of Hermione in the last chapter? I hope I made her less hateable for you! . . .Is that a word? Anyway, I hope you like this nice long chapter! Review when you're done please!

After Harry had made his rounds with his other patients, he left for his apartment building to tell Hermione what had happened during the attempted massage.

"That is interesting," said Hermione, stroking her chin and smiling. "You're asking me to pick apart Draco Malfoy's mind, for god's sake!"

"But it wasn't even 10 minutes!" cried Harry.

"Harry, a guy can cum in like 10 seconds," said Hermione. "I'm not a mind reader. I can't tell you what he was thinking. But what I do think is this: he's finally caught up to the fact that he likes you and now he doesn't know how to react. We don't even know if he has actually loved a person. His family is cruel and calculating; he wouldn't have a role model for this kind of thing. I mean, he knows something is going on in his head, but he's scared. But so are you and that's normal. Just give him a bit of space to figure it out. Get another nurse to take over the massages for you because if you try to do it, then that will only set his progress back. And he'll just push you away more."

Harry sighed and gave Hermione an incredulous look. "How do you make that sound so easy?"

"It's a gift," said Hermione looking at her watch. "A gift I will really need to bring out in 5 minutes when Ron gets home." Hermione smiled at how quickly Harry's face fell. "It will be fine, Harry! Ron already knows that you like guys. The fact that it's Draco Malfoy . . ." She trailed off. "Just let me do the talking. More tea?"

* * *

Harry sat slowly sipping his tea and nearly spilt it all over himself when he heard Ron enter the apartment. Ron stopped abruptly when he saw Harry and Hermione sitting on the couch and looking at him in a nervous way. "Uh . . . Did someone die?" he asked uncertainly. 

"Ron, Harry and I need to talk to you," Hermione said in a calm voice. Ron knew this to be a bad sign. "Come sit with us."

Ron walked cautiously over and perched on the edge of the couch nearest Hermione. He looked between the two of them, waiting for one of them to start.

Hermione put her hand on his knee and looked into his eyes. Another bad sign. "Ron, you know that Harry has fallen in love with a man, right?" Hermione watched carefully as Ron's ears slowly began to turn a bright red. Hermione knew this to be a bad sign.

Finally Ron could take it no longer. "It's not me is it!" he blurted. There was a stunned silence. Ron took this to a bad sign. A bad sign, that in his over-stressed mind, came out as a 'yes'. He took Harry and Hermione's mouths popping open asa sign he had guessed it in one go.

"Oh, god! My best mate is in love with me!" Ron groaned and put his head in his hands. A shocked silence followed this statement.

"_HELL_, no!" Harry cried, finally coming to his senses and making a nausous face.

"Oh, thank _god_! _Nothing_ could be worse than that!" said Ron relieved. He took a moment to look at Harry and Hermione's faces. There was no relieved grin on either face. His face fell quickly.Ron took this to be a bad sign. "There is . . . something worse?" he asked uncertainly.

"I'm in love with Draco Malfoy!" Harry blurted, then realizing what he just said, he clamped a hand over his mouth.

Harry and Hermione studied Ron's face. The redness from his ears was slowly and surely spreading across his entire face and neck. He slowly sucked in a huge breath and his eyes narrowed. Harry and Hermione flinched and closed their eyes. Ron exploded. All they could hear was non-coherent words of . . . laughter? Harry and Hermione's eyes flew open and saw Ron laughing hysterically, tears of mirth pouring down his red cheeks. "T-That's a g-good one, Har- Harry!" He continued to laugh until he noticed that Harry and Hermione were not laughing with him. In fact, they were both looking rather horrified. Ron stopped laughing abruptly. "Oh, but this is a joke, right?" he asked with a wide grin.

Hermione cleared her throat. Another bad sign. "No, Ron. This is not a joke." Ron's grin slid quickly off his red face.Hermione continued on to tell Ron about Harry and Draco and his condition.

After she finished, Ron just kept looking at her like she was going to shout "April Fools!" When she did not, he said, "So, Harry found Malfoy in the hospital and he's blind and . . . Harry - that Harry." He pointed at Harry for clarification. "Fell in love with . . . Ma - Dr-" Ron ended in stuttering noises. By this time Ron's entire body appeared to be a bright fushia. Hermione let this sink into Ron's mind for a moment and stole a glance at Harry, who was looking worried.

Ron stood up suddenly and said, "So, Harry is in love with Draco Malfoy . . . Is there a way I can just pretend that it didn't happen?" He looked eagerly at both faces. Harry was avoiding eye contact and Hermione was giving him the 'look'. "No? Okay. I'm, uh, going to go for a walk," he said in an unusually high voice.

Hermione and Harry watched Ron slowly walk out of the room as if he had just been hit over the head with a heavy club.

"Well, that went pretty well," said Hermione.

* * *

Draco Malfoy was dreaming; it was a good dream and he did not want to wake. He was standing up and could feel a familiar presence slowly circling him, drinking him in. He felt the figure lean in near his neck and slowly take a deep breath as if the trying to memorize what Draco smelt like. He felt hands cup his face and then they began to slowly trace their way over the lines and ridges of Draco's face. A thumb passed painfully slowly over his lips and Draco found that he could not respond. Then with touches so gentle he barely felt it, finger tips gently traced Draco's closed eye lids. He was burning for more. His entire body felt like it was being licked with flames of desire, but when Draco reached out he felt nothing. He slowly put his hands back to his sides to try and wait patiently. Just when he thought the presence had left, warm, strong hands slowlyslid onhis naked hips causing Draco's breath to hitch. The hands slowly pulled Draco forward, until warm lips touched to his cheek. Feather light kisses slowly found their way around every part of Draco's face, except his lips. They continued to tease all the way down his shoulder, arm and wrist, until they ever so gently began to kiss and suck Draco's finger tips. Draco was burning to open his eyes to see who was doing this to him. Who was makinghis heart beat in a way he thought it would burst. Who stole his breath away with a mere touch. Who made his flesh burn in a way he had never experienced. In a flash, his eyes opened and he could see. All he could make out were shadows slowly dancing around him, teasing him like a siren. He strained his eyes directly in front of him where the gentle kisses were slowly coming to the last finger. He felt the lips leave for a fleeting moment, and almost cried out for more when a kiss was slowly placed on the back on his hand. At the moment the lips touched down, Draco could see. Almost blinding him with the clarity, a pair of emerald eyes, dark with desire, looked deep in to his own stormy eyes. Then a change happened suddenly, the eyes started to glow a bright green, too green. Draco heard an echo of his own voice cry out a deadly spell and jets of green light came speeding toward him. Draco jolted into consiousness and into blinding blackness, once again. 

At once the noise and atmosphere of the hospital came back in a rush, causing Draco to sit bolt up right trying to catch the breath that had been stolen. Draco tried to remember what the dream was about, but it slipped through his mind like water. He wiped his sweaty forehead with a hand, wiped his eyes then slowly made his way to the bathroom.

When Draco came out of the bathroom, he noticed an a unfamiliar presence sitting on his bed. "Hello?" asked Draco.

"Hello."

It was the voice of a small boy. Draco wondered what he was doing on his bed and was about to ask the boy to leave when he heard him speak again.

"Why do you cry?"

Draco didn't respond; he was taken aback by the question. The boy went on. "It's alright, I cry sometimes, too. I have to have lots of needles. But I'm getting used to them now," said the small voice, bravely.

"You do?" asked Draco, not knowing what to say. He did not have any experience with talking to children.

"Sometimes, when I'm having nightmares, I try to imagine someone fighting my fears away. Then _poof_! The bad dreams are gone. Just like my hair that time! I was really scared, but my Dad held me tight and whispered good things in my ear and I felt better! No bad things could get at me when he was with me! Do you have someone like that?" asked the boy.

Draco thought about it. "I did have someone like that, but I pushed them away," he said quietly.

"If they love you, then they will come back and hold you close. Then you won't have to cry any more. I have to go now, I'm not supposed to be here. I have to get a needle, but I won't cry. We have to be strong, right? My Dad tells me that I can overcome anything if I try," said the boy and Draco heard him leave.

* * *

Draco had woken up from vivid dreams for almost a month. He had several dreams a night and after each one, he would wake. Then after many hours he would slip off again into shadows, only to wake after a short time. His dreams haunted him with visions of his horrific past or the samebright emerald eyes. He knew not sleeping had taken a heavy toll on his body. And try as he might he could not stand the putrid smell of the hospital food, so he had stopped eating. He could feel his muscles fading away with each passing day and his ribs becoming more pronounce. 

During the past month, he had hardly saw Harry. Harry made him feel safe and secure and this confused Draco. No one had ever made him feel safe nor secure. No one had ever made him feel the way Harry did. He didn't know how to react to that and so he pushed him out of his life. _The boy's wrong; Harry is not coming back. He has no reason, _thought Draco, bitterly.

Harry had taught a nurse the massage, but it didn't feel close to what Harry's talented hands could do. Despite his skin slowly becoming more receptive, he was not making any progress on how to live again. Maybe he didn't want to in the deepest corners of his mind.

He could only make it to his own bathroom and if the nurse tried to make him find the kitchen down the hall, he would get dizzy and disoriented. This frustrated Draco to no end and these sessions would usually end with him screaming at the nurse to lead him back to his room.

Often Draco would wander around the hospital floor, with no one guiding him and no pressure. He would get himself totally lost and disoriented and then wait until someone noticed he was missing and go find him. He had found a quiet part of the wing and slid down to the floor to sit and wait until someone came and got him. He would get the normal lecture about not wandering around the hospital, while being lead back to his room. He rather liked this corridor, as it was very quiet and almost no one used it. Draco would come here to think.

The thing that frustrated Draco the most was that he was failing at something. Try as hard as he might, he could not do it. Failure was not an option nor a word in his vocabulary. He had failed before. Not in his own eyes, but his father's eyes. The night he could not murder Dumbledore. If he had killed Dumbledore, then that would be the failure. Failure to himself. He had remained true to his heart. He knew that he had 'failed' at remaining faithful to the Dark Lord, but he was never really faithful in the first place. That night plagued his thoughts, as though it were the start of his misery. Draco knew that the start of his misery started when he was born a M-

Draco's thoughts abruptly stopped. M-

"M-" He could not say nor think his name. And that only meant one thing. He had been officially disowned.

* * *

It was early afternoon and Harry was just about to leave for the hospital when a knock sounded on his door. He opened it to see Hermione. 

"Hey," said Harry quitely.

"I'm worried about you, Harry," she said bluntly. "Ever since that massage with Draco, you've kinda sunk back to the sulky Harry we knew in fifth year, only more quiet. Have you seen him at all?"

"Just in passing," said Harry looking away. "I've tried to get him to respond to me but it stopped working like a month ago. I had to get another nurse to do the massages.I haven't even gotten a good look at him, but I think he lost more weight."

"Well, I think you should go and talk to him. Every time I usually ask you about him, you shrug me off. I think he might need you now, Harry. Give him another chance. You've never given up on anyone, Harry and Draco has more than enough reasons for you to give him another."

Harry nodded, but didn't say anything. He walked past her and towards the hospital. It still hurt, knowing that the one you were in love with was pushing you away.

* * *

Draco's anger, frustration and confusion had been powerfully stewing in his mind, threatning to break loose, when the sound of familar footsteps broke into his thoughts. The footsteps had almost passed Draco when they stopped abruptly. 

A/N: Oh, poor Draco! He's having a really bad day! Don't worry some good is definately going to happen from this! Is that a Knight in shining armour? Oh, who could it be? -taps chin- I'll get that detailed massage in soon . . . along with the cherry on top . . . Tell me what you think! I love you all! Review, review, review please! You guys rock my world!


	13. Chapter 13: Beauty In The Breakdown

**Just To See You  
By: Darkmeadow777  
Chapter 13: Beauty In The Breakdown**

It's all right  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown  
So, let go, yeah let go  
"Let Go" By Frou Frou

"Draco?" asked Harry surprised. "What are you doing here by yourself?"

Harry crouched down to Draco's level and took a moment to study the man in front of him. His head was bowed and his arms were wrapped tightly around his knees. Whenever Harry had tried to speak to Draco during the past month it was like talking to a zombie. He would give the answer Harry wanted to know and then sink within himself. Harry had been pushed away, but he let it happen. Harry had not seen Draco for the better part of the month and he knew now that it was a mistake. He barely recognized Draco. He was emaciated and pale; a ghost of his former self. Harry could see his shoulder bones poking through the thin shirt he was wearing and the well-defined lines running through his hands.

Harry longed to take the man in his arms and hold him. He had almost reached out to pull Draco to his feet, when he noticed a single tear fall from Draco's downcast eyes. Harry noticed that he was shaking very gently. For the second time in his life, he saw Draco crying. He slowly reached out and put a comforting hand on Draco's shoulder, not wanting to over step his boundary.

"I-I can't do this anymore!" Draco whispered, and all his pent up thoughts, his frustration, his anger and his confusion flowed out of him like a damn had burst.. Tears started to flow freely from his eyes, but he refused to look up. "I don't fail, Harry. And I have. I can't even teach myself how to live again! Even that little boy was being stronger than I am! I can't take it anymore! I can't sleep in this stupid fucking hospital; it's too damn loud! The smell gets more disgusting everyday. I can't even find my way to the fucking kitchen! And now I'm not even a M- M- anymore!" He gulped and gasped but could not stop the tears from falling. "I need to get out of here . . ."

Caving into his urge, Harry slowly pulled the crying man into his arms and held him tightly, muttering comforting words and slowly rubbing circles on Draco's back.

"It's all right, Draco. Let it go," Harry whispered. "I'm here now." Harry continued his circles and started to smooth Draco's messy hair. He held Draco against his chest and waited patiently for Draco let all his frustration and pain out. Draco clenched Harry's shirt in his fists, pulling Harry even closer. He had his face pressed into Harry's chest, letting the tears be absorbed by the soft fabric.

"I n-need to get outta here," Draco sobbed into Harry's chest.

Harry replied with soft, comforting nonsense, not really knowing what to say.

After about an hour, Draco's breathing had gone from choked sobs to steady breathing. Harry just held him tight. After a while longer, Harry was sure Draco had fallen asleep, but did not try to move him.

Harry was lost in his own world, slowly stroking Draco's hair when a fully formed idea spiked through his brain like a lightning bolt. His mind created an image of how Ron would react, if Draco agreed. He smiled down at the sleeping figure in his arms and softly brushed away the stray hairs from Draco's pale face. He placed a soft kiss on Draco's forehead. He could stay like this forever.

Hermione was humming along to a song, and doing the dishes when Ron walked through the door. "How was training?" she asked.

"Good," said Ron, stooping to give Hermione a gentle kiss on her lips. "I almost had Remus!"

Harry, Hermione and Ron had been apparating to Grimmauld Place to practise dueling and various spells. They had taken to dueling with members of the Order in one of the large rooms. They always took turns to go, so the other two could protect each other if needed and it made them much harder to track.

Hermione smiled up at him and was about to congratulate him, when she heard a knock on the door, it opened slowly to reveal Harry.

"Hey, guys," said Harry brightly. "Are you busy?"

"Nope - just got in from training! I almost had Remus!" boasted Ron.

"Cool!" said Harry, proud of his friend's accomplishment. Harry could beat Remus easily. "Can I talk to you guys?"

Hermione looked at him suspiciously and then said, "Sure, Harry. I've barely seen you all week. I'll get some tea."

When they were all sitting, Harry stayed silent, so Ron prompted him. "What did you wanna talk about?"

"I found Draco a while back and talked to him."

"Oh, good! Judging by your expression it went well!" said Hermione brightly. Ron had pasted a horrible fake smile on his face. Harry was grateful nevertheless.

"He was crying on the floor."

"Oh," said Hermione taken aback. "So why are you happy?"

"Well, the reason he was crying was that he was getting really sick of the hospital and he wasn't making any progress. I don't know what the hell the nurses were doing. I checked his medical records and he's been on an IV a couple times during the past month because he wasn't eating. He looks awful Hermione; I barely recognized him. He's all skin and bone, so I've been trying to fatten him up again. Anyway, I comforted him and he fell asleep on me."

Ron's fake smile faltered a moment. Then came back with a greater vengeance.

"Well, I did tell you to give him some space, not abandon him!" said Hermione.

"He didn't give me a choice, Hermione."

"Alright!" Hermione put her hands up in defeat. "Man, guys are dumb," she added to herself.

"Anyway, when he woke up, I told him that if he wanted to he could move in with me. You know get out of the hospital. He was really hesitant, but I left it open to him and he agreed yesterday after smelling the shepherd pie from the cafeteria."

"He's moving in with you?" said Hermione incredulously. "Do you think that's a good idea? And he wants to move in with his old school rival?"

"Well, he has no where else to go. We've actually been getting along quite well lately."

"What about Malfoy Manor?" asked Ron desperately, trying and failing to hide his horrified look.

"He was disowned a week ago. I think that was one of the triggers for his breakdown. He can't think or even say his own surname. So, now he has no money, no inheritance or a even family."

"Oh, poor Draco!" said Hermione earnestly. "That must be crushing him! When is he moving in?"

"I'm going to take him home today," said Harry brightly. "I told the hospital not to expect me for a couple weeks, so that's not a problem. I can leave him for a couple of hours when I train . . . or he could come here?" It came out as a question.

"Yes, of course! But will he want to?" Hermione asked skeptically.

"Well, he knew you were the 'specialist' and he didn't seem to care. Mind you, he's more temperamental than a real dragon. He doesn't have anyone else to talk to . . ."

"He knew it was me?" asked Hermione dumbfounded. "After not seeing me for so long?"

"Yeah, I forgot to mention that part," said Harry looking sheepish.

"That's understandable," said Hermione, patting Harry's knee.

"Why don't you two drop by later this evening? We could have dinner?" asked Harry.

"All right," said Ron. "But I'm only coming for your cooking."

_I agreed to move in with Harry Potter. I agreed to move in with Harry Potter. I agreed to move in with Harry Potter. _Draco kept repeating this sentence to himself, wondering if he was completely crazy, just desperate to leave the hospital or if he really wanted to move in with Harry.

Something clicked in Draco's brain. _Oh, my God. I actually want to move in with my ex-nemesis. Which God decided it hated me? _Draco thought, glaring upwards.

Draco had been given a bath by a less-than-capable nurse and was sitting on his bed ready and waiting for Harry to come and get him. _If he's really coming, _added a bitter voice in the back of his mind.

_Ha!_ Draco thought to the voice as he heard Harry's familiar footsteps. Draco could not stop the wide grin from sliding onto his face. He was excited. Excited to be moving in with his former rival. _No wonder my father disowned me, _he thought.

"Hey Draco! Are you ready to be checked out of the hospital? If you haven't changed your mind?" Harry asked nervously.

"I haven't. Lead the way," said Draco, trying and failing to hide the excitement in his voice. Harry smiled brightly, but said nothing. Draco was dressed in some of Harry's old clothes that practically hung off Draco's shrunken frame. Harry looked at him sadly and vowed to get Draco back to his old self. _Most of his old self_, Harry corrected himself with a smirk.

Harry led Draco to Sandra's desk and sat in him a chair. Sandra looked up with a huge smile, and said, "Well, Draco are you sure you want to go home with this lovely young man?"

"I've no other choice," said Draco trying and failing to sound indifferent.

"You know every dragon must have its tamer," said Sandra, starting the paper work for Draco's release. "You're lucky you have such a strong one. One that believes in you, though you've never asked him to. Most things take a lot of time and practise, Draco, and learning how to live again is one of them. You need to believe in yourself and even if you don't right now, you know someone does." She turned to Harry and said, "Harry, your future is going to get very dark. But with dark there is always light. You are going to get the greatest gift of all."

"And what's that?" said Harry, not understanding and thinking Sandra was more like Luna Lovegood than he thought.

"Life, of course!"

"I'm going to get a life?" asked Harry confused.

"And it's about bloody time," said Draco.

"Not that kind of life! Not your own and not Draco's either! You have no idea how strong you are, Harry. Once you find out how, you must use it. Life will depend on it," said Sandra cryptically. "Now get out of this hospital! You're free to go."

Harry took Draco's arm and led him out of the hospital. As they walked to Harry's apartment, he told Draco about the stores and what he could find where. He pointed out how many cross walks and stop signs, where poles were and other obstacles.

"Whoa, Harry!" interrupted Draco, "I'm not going to get it all today, so you might as well stop now! I'll be lucky to find the door in the first week."

"Sorry, I just don't know what to talk about . . ."

"You don't always have to talk to get your statement across, you know," said Draco smirking in Harry's direction.

"I'll keep that in mind," said Harry, smiling and placed his hand on the small of Draco's back to guide him along.

A/N: Did the idea of "Seduction" just enter Harry's mind? Dinner with the "Golden Trio" and Draco Malfoy? I believe that will be interesting . . . You'll get your cherry on top in the next chapter . . .maybe some whipped cream and chocolate sauce? -Trademark Malfoy Smirk-


	14. Chapter 14: Beginnings Of Want

Just To See You  
By Darkmeadow777  
Chapter 14: Beginnings Of Want

A/N: So after a really embarrassing slip up cuz I'm an Idiot (with a capital "I"), I'm reposting this chapter...

"Harry, are we almost there? I'm starting to get a bit dizzy," said Draco. They had been walking for about 10 minutes.

"Yeah, I can see the building. You can rest in a minute," reassured Harry.

When they had entered the apartment, Harry showed Draco to the couch. He sank down on it and put his head in his hands, as if that would stop it from spinning. He started to gently rub his temples.

"Would you like me to do that for you?" asked Harry tentatively.

"Um, yeah. Sure. Please," fumbled Draco. He had been wanting a massage from Harry for the past week, but was too shy to ask.

Harry sat down beside Draco and said, "It would be easier to do if you sat on the floor."

"Yeah. Whatever, Harry. You just want me at your feet," said Draco smartly as he slid off the couch.

"I sure do," said Harry in a voice that could be taken as sarcastic or serious. Harry was being serious. Harry stepped over Draco and straddled his shoulders between his knees.

Harry took Draco's head in his hands and slowly began to make tight circles all over his head and neck. Draco's neck was a lot thinner than he remembered. Harry moved his fingertips down to Draco's temples and began to lightly rub circles. He slowly raked his fingers through Draco's fine hair, eliciting a small noise from the blonde. Harry peeked his head around and saw Draco's eye lids slowly droop. He waited until they had been closed for about 30 seconds then got up.

"There you go," said Harry. It was a painfully quick massage, but he wanted Draco coming back for more.

"That wasn't very long," complained Draco.

"Did you want something to eat?" asked Harry, ignoring Draco.

"Are you going to give me a choice?" asked Draco.

"No. Chicken burger and a protein shake for you. You need to gain some weight back, I can almost get one hand around your neck," said Harry walking out to the kitchen.

Draco sat on the couch and took a deep breath. He listened carefully for the sounds of Harry moving around the kitchen then slowly stood up. He moved around and started to try and mentally map out the room. He had been going slowly and had not knocked over anything and was starting to feel more confident. He sped up his pace.

Harry came out of the kitchen and saw Draco making his way around the apartment with little difficulty. Harry smirked as he noticed Draco heading straight for a box in his path. He moved stealthily in Draco's direction.

Draco was moving along using the wall to guide his way and he sped up his pace. He was just thinking that the apartment was wasn't very hard to map, when his legs collided with an unyielding object and he felt the ground rush up to meet him.

Instead of hard ground he fell against a warm, firm chest. He felt Harry's strong chest muscles underneath his hands. Harry's strong arms were wrapped around his waist. He could feel Harry's warm breath very close to his face.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, his voice husky and deep.

Draco's knees almost gave out. He did not feel any desire to move away from Harry. "I am..." _now_.

After a while, Harry leaned back and Draco felt the cool air rush in his place. "I'll lead you back to the couch", said Harry taking Draco's hand.

_What did I just think! _thought Draco, _'I am NOW! What's happening to me? First I feel safe around him and now I want his arms around me? Stop it, Stop it, Stop it!_ he thought while hitting himself in the head, but only after Harry had returned to the kitchen.

"Oh, Draco?" Harry called from the kitchen, "I've invited Hermione and Ron for dinner this evening. We're going to have steak."

This sentence slowly fought its way through Draco's troubled mind. He resumed hitting his head.

* * *

It was a few hours later, and Draco was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed and looking very sulky. He was glaring holes in what he thought was the coffee table. Harry was by the door greeting the guests.

Draco did his best to ignore them, but it was hard when they came and sat around him. Harry was sitting on the couch with him.

Hermione was being polite and kept asking him questions, but was met with a grunt or similar noise. Draco knew she was trying to get him out of his shell. He was bloody well going to stay in his shell for as long as he bloody well wanted. Ron didn't even try to start a conversation with Draco.

The conversation started without him and Harry would get up every once and a while to prepare the meal.

After a while, Harry brought the meal to the table and they all sat around. Harry lead Draco over and sat beside him. Harry took a steak and automatically started to cut it in pieces to save Draco the trouble. Then he put some baked potato and some vegetables on his plate for him. Draco grudgingly began to eat. Then almost wolfed it down as Harry's cooking was amazing.

"Wow, Harry this is amazing!" gushed Hermione.

"Ye', I wove it when 'ou 'ook, 'Arry!" said Ron with his mouth full, "I wove it when 'ou 'ook, 'oo, 'ermione."

Harry laughed. When they all finished their meal, they moved back to the living room for tea. Draco leaned back against the couch and fell into a semi-conscious state while listening to the conversation.

"I knew I was going to come out on top, it was only a matter of time," said Ron.

Top. Draco was sitting on top of Harry, straddling his waist. Draco moved his hands over Harry's strong chest muscles and made circles around his erect nipples. Harry sucked in his breath. Draco slowly closed the space between them and captured Harry's lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. He deepened the kiss and Harry moaned. He slowly began to rock back and forth, creating a maddening amount of friction. Harry met Draco on every thrust, his breath becoming heavier. Draco moved his hands down all over Harry's chest, then moved his lips down and started to suck and tease Harry's nipples. He strengthened his thrusts and could hear Harry's labored breathing. He moved his hands lower still, teasing Harry's belly button and then moving further down to tease his fingers around the dark curls. He thrust harder. His lips were frantically kissing and sucking Harry's chest and abs, when a voice broke into his thoughts.

"Would you like whipped cream, chocolate sauce and a cherry on top?"

"Fuck, yeah!" said Draco, his eyes were still closed holding on to the delicious image in his mind. After a moment the image dissolved instantly and his eyes popped open. The room was silent and he could feel 3 sets of eyes on him.

"I mean . . .what?" asked Draco lamely.

"Would you like whipped cream, chocolate sauce and a cherry on top of your ice cream?" asked Harry.

"Oh . . .Yes," said Draco in an oddly put-out way.

Alright, better! Yeah, so first massage with the two of them alone will be next... Will sparks fly? Don't give up on me! Sorry this is so late, again. And sorry for my major fuck up...


End file.
